Sex Therapy
What is Sex Therapy? Sex therapy is about helping people get curious and heal around their sexual challenges. Sexual challenges can occur with or without medical cause. I help people reclaim, reinvigorate and/or meet their sexuality for the first time.
Some issues I work with: internal conflict with sexual and erotic desires, sexual anxiety/performance, life transition and sexuality, gender and sexuality, aging and sexuality, long-term partnership and sexuality, painful sex, high/low sex desire, and high sexual avoidance.
My practice is LGBTQQIA inclusive. I am also work with BDSM, Kink, and Consensual Non-monogamy identities.
What is Sexual Health?
"Sexual health balances sexual rights (such as safety, consent, non-coercion, non-discrimination) with congruence between individual and societal sexual values, behavior and desires regarding sex with oneself and with others." -The Harvey Institute
These are the 6 Sexual Health Principles that guide my work:
The Harvey Institute's 6 Sexual Health Principles
Consent
Non-exploitatiion
Protection from HIV, STIs, and unwanted pregnancy
Honesty
Shared Values
Mutual Pleasure
Support for Problematic and Out of Control Sexual Behavior
Problematic Sexual Behavior
Problematic Sexual Behavior is an umbrella term used to cover a wide range of more specific and upsetting sexual health struggles such as problematic levels of sexual desire, pornography use, infidelity, sex/arousal challenges, sexual pain, sexual aversion and avoidance, and anxiety/depression around sexuality.
Out of Control Sexual Behavior
Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB) is a very specific sexual problem. Doug Braun-Harvey and Michael Vigorito define OCSB as “a sexual health problem of consensual sexual urges, thoughts, or behaviors that feel out of control for the individual”. This may look like someone using sex or partner attachment to reduce stressful experiences in his/her life, or to avoid unpleasant feelings (loneliness, anxiety, and depression). –Truly believing all he/she has to offer in partnership is their sexuality.
Many of my clients report that despite negative consequences, they have felt unable to control the frequency of their sexual/romantic urges, thoughts, and behaviors. They continue to participate in behaviors placing themselves and loved ones at emotional and/or physical risk. A key sign of Out of Control Sexual Behavior is that you've understood it as negatively impacting your social, emotional, occupational, or relational functioning.
My hope is to help you SLOW DOWN, explore, and reduce behaviors that are not ok with you. My clients have reported significant improvement in personal relationships, social activities, work, and other important areas of life. Where they once felt feelings of compartmentalization, guilt, shame, sadness, regret, or fear about being caught/exposed, they now feel hope, recovery, strength, authenticity, and wholeness of self.
My stance on “sexual addiction” mirrors that of The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT):
“AASECT recognizes that people may experience significant physical, psychological, spiritual and sexual health consequences related to their sexual urges, thoughts or behaviors. AASECT recommends that its members utilize models that do not unduly pathologize consensual sexual behaviors. AASECT 1) does not find sufficient empirical evidence to support the classification of sex addiction or porn addiction as a mental health disorder, and 2) does not find the sexual addiction training and treatment methods and educational pedagogies to be adequately informed by accurate human sexuality knowledge. Therefore, it is the position of AASECT that linking problems related to sexual urges, thoughts or behaviors to a porn/sexual addiction process cannot be advanced by AASECT as a standard of practice for sexuality education delivery, counseling or therapy.”
SUPPORT FOR Infidelity: THOSE WHO HAVE PARTNERS WITH OUT OF CONTROL SEXUAL BEHAVIORS AND/OR PROBLEMATIC SEXUAL BEHAVIORS
What is Infidelity?
"...a breach of trust, a betrayal of relationship, a breaking of agreement" (Pittman, 1989).
Have you learned your partner has Out of Control Sexual Behaviors and/or problematic Sexual Behaviors? Realizing your partner may have out of control sexual urges, thoughts, or feelings can be deeply disorienting and scary. Your sense of safety with your partner and trust in the world is challenged. Your self concept can suffer. You are not alone.
From a professionally-trained, trauma-informed perspective I support partners as they begin to heal from this most intimate upset. I help address the impact of Out of Control Sexual Behaviors on the you as the partner, the partnership, and the family system. I help educate partners on what Out of Control Sexual Behaviors and Problematic Sexual Behaviors are and are not, how to get grounded during this time, how to assess and rebuild relational trust if/when appropriate, and how to value themselves again.
